Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Trouble, part one

I have not written much about Ben’s tantrums or other troubling behaviors.

Partly (and thankfully) this is because for maybe nine months or so, incidents have been relatively mild and infrequent.

Over the course of this school year, the rate of behavior issues seems to be at an appropriate level for a four-year-old. Mostly, he just does things like shout at the top of his lungs, “I DOOOOOOOON’T WANT TO TAKE A BAAAAAATH!!!!!!”

This, I can handle.

But that isn't the whole story.

I've tried to write about behavior issues, and the truth is, it's really, really hard. It’s not that I don’t have reflections and ideas and things I want to share.

In fact, I have several unfinished posts that I’ve abandoned midway through. I just gave up on trying to explain or describe those times when he seems out of control and doesn’t bear much resemblance to the happy, goofy, easy-going kid that I’m used to.

As this past school year came to a close, the frequency of Ben’s tantrums increased, and he’s had several incidents of aggressive behavior toward other students in his afternoon preschool program.

So I decided that I need to write about this as a way to understand it better. And perhaps as a way to engage some of you in discussion, and maybe get ideas and advice - or at least perspective.

It’s going to take a series of posts because it feels so complicated and convoluted and encompasses several different themes that I can’t possibly tie together in a single post.

So bear with me on a multi-part journey into the darker side.

5 comments:

goodfountain said...

Standing by, ready to bear.

Mostly to commiserate, I'm sure, woefully short on advice.

MOM-NOS said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
MOM-NOS said...

I understand your dilemma. Bud had a really (really, really) difficult summer/fall last year and even though we are on the other side of it, I still can't write much about it. I'll be here reading and offering what I can.

Anonymous said...

You are so brave to share so much, and to do so in a way that helps so many others. I hope that we can help you in return, or that just writing it out helps you as much as it helps me to read your blog. I think every child, every person really, has that dark side. I know I've gone through quite a few troubling ones as well.

Anonymous said...

I also have a hyperlexic child and when speaking to family and friends spend much more time sharing the joy and accomplishments of my son than discussing his problems. In some ways when your child faces so many differences from typical children it is hard to discuss the tantrums or acting out because you don't want others to make assumptions about the source of those problems. Maybe sharing will help to lighten the burden of those tough times. I think I will try to share your bravery and be more open myself.