Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Fifteen years ago

I normally use this space to write about parenting. But I would not be the parent I am without my co-parent, my husband Chris.

Fifteen years ago today we were married. The vows we took said:

In times of triumph, joy, and laughter,

I will be with you.

In times of hardship, loss, and heartbreak,

I will be with you.

In all the in-between times, days that quietly slip by,

I will be with you.

And as the years unfold, as our lives stretch out ahead of us,

I will be with you.

As you are now, and as you are becoming,

I will be with you,

and I will love you, simply, and with all my heart.


I wanted to revisit those vows so many years and life changes later, and share them here - as an encore presentation, a second public acknowledgement of what we promised.

But I'm not very good at grand, romantic gestures. The fact that I needed Chris' help to find, access and convert the fifteen year old Word file we used to create the script for our ceremony pretty much undermined any last shred of off-the-feet-sweeping.

It's fitting, I guess, because that's marriage, too. The vows are there for the times that aren't fun or glamorous or romantic.

So for our fifteenth anniversary, I am proposing a few amendments to our vows that are inspired by the real world of marriage, family, change, learning, and love that goes on.

On the way to the emergency room at 2 a.m.,

I will be with you.

When another major appliance breaks down,

I will be with you.

When we both decide to change careers in the middle of a major economic downturn,

I will be with you.

When the only way to get through the weekend is to nap in shifts,

I will be with you.

When we feel like there's no freaking way we can act out the "finding the golden ticket" scene from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory one more damn time,

I will be with you.

When we step back and feel proud of what we can do together,

I will be with you.

And I will love you simply, with all my heart.



Happy Anniversary.

9 comments:

kristenspina said...

absolutely beautiful! Happy anniversary to you both... xxk

goodfountain said...

happy 15 years to you both. wonderful vows!

KAL said...

I love this. Happy anniversary!

Anonymous said...

Remembering your wedding and reading your blog brought both tears and laughter. Both versions of your vows are perfect. Enjoy your belated celebration.

Love, Mom

Deirdre said...

I want to know if the "finding a golden ticket" moment will make it into the 30th anniversary re-write.

The Greene Family said...

Happy Anniversary!

Anonymous said...

I am thinking you might be a jinx!

Jennifer Byde Myers said...

Hope your anniversary was lovely.

and thank you for making me laugh with this: "When the only way to get through the weekend is to nap in shifts"

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